With the games in full swing and me back from my week-long cruise to Bermuda, I’m back in front of the screen to give you the Olympics Edition of The Hump, a day early. I tried to keep up with what I could while away and being that Bermuda is a British territory, it wasn’t hard to find a television with something on.
Since Olympians are far superior athletically to nearly everyone else in the world, I’ll focus this edition on the ups rather than the downs. Although it makes me chuckle when I see a vaulter land on his/her ass while attempting to land or cringe when a diver lands on his back, they are still Olympians.
Up Up and Away
- I’d be remiss if I didn’t start with the thrilling U.S. women’s soccer win over Canada. “The Fox in the Box” Alex Morgan delivered a header into the back of the net with seconds remaining in the second stoppage time to give the U.S. a 4-3 victory. My tanned human skin quickly turned to chicken skin upon the ending of the first soccer match I’ve viewed in its entirety in my life. With the win, the U.S. will face Japan on Thursday at 2:45 EST in a rematch of the World Cup final won in penalty kicks by Japan. That, my friends, will be the second full soccer match I’ll watch. USA! USA! USA!
- Usain St. Leo Bolt, proved once again after losing his last two races in the Jamaican Olympic Trials, that he is, in fact, the fastest man on the planet. Dude ran the 100m in the second fastest time ever, 9.63 seconds. There were people doubting him the entire time leading up to the final. I guess the haters gonna hate. After the win, he did what any sane man would do, hang out with Swedish handball players. Well done Usain, well done.
- Michael Phelps is the best Olympian ever! I know,
I’m the first one to break this story. As if it’s not good enough to
win 18 gold medals, 2 silver medals, and 2 bronze medals over the span
of three Olympic games, he dates “aspiring” model Megan Rossee.
Image via Reuters Oh yeah, and he makes millions in endorsement deals. He’s made it clear he has no plans to swim competitively again. Talk about going out on your own terms and on top. Do you think he’s be this big of a story if he was from a different country? I say yes – see bullet number two. - Congratulations to Kirani James, who earned the first Olympic medal ever for Grenada. James left the field in his wake in 400m final to earn gold for the largest island in the Grenadines. Prior to these Olympics, the claim to fame for Grenada was being spotted in 1498 by Christopher Columbus during his third voyage to the new world. Perhaps if cricket were an Olympic sport, they’d have more than one medal. Another kudos to James who swapped numbers with South African runner Oscar Pistorius, known as “Blade Runner” because of his two carbon fiber prosthetic legs. Respect man, respect.
- Awww, skeet skeet skeet. Qatar’s Nasser Al-Attiya took home bronze in the men’s skeet (125 targets), earning his home country their third ever Olympics medal and first since the 2000 in Sydney. They’ve only competed in seven Olympiads, all summer, and all three medals are bronze. Plus it’s fun to say – Qatar Qatar Qatar. (Side Note: American Vincent Hancock won gold in this event, setting an Olympic record with a total of 25. Al-Attiya wound up with a total of 23.)
- BREAKING NEWS – Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings just defeated China, 22-20 and 22-20, to advance to the beach volleyball gold medal match. Although I feel as though they never lose in the Olympics and are supposed to be in the final, but it seems to be getting a little more difficult for them. Or maybe I’m just dreaming, they handled Italy pretty handily in the quarterfinals, 21-13 and 21-13. If the other American duo of April Ross and Jennifer Kessy can pull an upset of Brazil, it’ll guarantee the U.S. both a gold and silver medal.
