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| Billikens are sure cute, but they're damn good at basketball! |
Today kicks off what many believe is the best weekend in sports - the first weekend of
March Madness. I'll attempt to delve into today's slate and pick winners based solely on mascots.
#14 Valparaiso vs. #3 Michigan State - While Valpo's mascot, the
Crusader, was a U.S. Navy fighter jet (F-8 Crusader), the
Spartans were well-documented in the film
300 featuring
Gerard Butler. That being said, Sparta was also a pre-eminent military city-state in Greece and there's no way a Crusader will take down Butler
and Sparta.
Winner: Michigan State Spartans
#11 Bucknell vs. #6 Butler - The
Bison and the
Bulldogs. Hmm, let me think about this one--Bison win. They're bigger, more rugged and although the Bulldogs are cool to look at and have as a pet, I'd fear for my life with a Bison running amok in my yard.
Winner: Bucknell Bison
#9 Wichita State vs. #8 Pittsburgh - The
Shockers and
Panthers.The Shockers are a stinging bee while the Panthers come in from the Steel City. Float like a butterfly, sting like a
bee Shocker but Panthers have a certain ferocity about them that makes them hard to ignore and the Shockers will be swatted away.
Winner: Pittsburgh Panthers
#13 New Mexico State vs. #4 Saint Louis - The
Aggies and
Billikens. An Aggie is nothing more than a student of a land-grant university. Basically, they're going to school on free land, not very scary. A Billiken isn't much more dangerous--it's merely a charm doll with a "no-worry" mentality. I have no worried Saint Louis will take down New Mexico State.
Winner: Saint Louis Billikens
#11 Saint Mary's vs. #6 Memphis - The
Gaels and the
Tigers. While it's easy to go with Memphis and the fact that they
are the largest cat species, the Gaels derive from Ireland, and with St. Patrick's Day in the rear view, I like the Gaels to shake the hangover and get a win.
Winner: Saint Mary's Gaels
#14 Davidson vs. #3 Marquette - The
Wildcats and the
Golden Eagles. All that glitters is not gold, but the Eagles soar high above the hungry Wildcats in this one. Davidson might be a senior-laden team and Marquette may be a bit inconsistent but I think the physicality of MU will prevail in this one.
Winner: Marquette Golden Eagles
#16 Southern vs. #1 Gonzaga - The
Jaguars and
Bulldogs. Again with the Bulldogs, but this time I like the cuddly, snorting pet instead of the lethal Jaguar though in a fight, the jag would certainly triumph. This is basketball, however, and the Bulldogs will pull away early.
Winner: Gonzaga Bulldogs
#12 Oregon vs. #5 Oklahoma State - Fly,
Ducks, Fly and the
Cowboys. Cowboys are a wild group but based on recent sports history, haven't really been a threat lately. These Ducks have been flying under the radar despite an early-season top-10 ranking.
Winner: Oregon Ducks
#16 North Carolina A&T vs. #1 Louisville - More
Aggies and the
Cardinals. We already know about the Aggies but the Cardinals are a pretty-looking bird with a lot of talent. They're led by a proven winner and can't see them landing soon enough to be captured by a land-grant student.
Winner: Louisville Cardinals
#13 South Dakota State vs. #4 Michigan - The
Jackrabbits and the
Wolverines. First off, only one of these is an X-Men character and the other is a furry little rabbit used to make stew in the wilderness that is South Dakota. Michigan should make rabbit stew tonight in Auburn Hills.
Winner: Michigan Wolverines
#11 Belmont vs. #6 Arizona - The
Bruins and the
Wildcats. These cats may be wild, but the Bruins have one fierce competitor in
Ian Clark. This one has upset written all over it but would it really be an upset if a bear devoured a cat? Not really.
Winner: Belmont Bruins
#12 California vs. #5 UNLV - The
Golden Bears and
Runnin' Rebels. These Rebels can run and the Bears come limping in with two straight losses. The Rebs can not only run but they can also rebounds, pretty damn well, too. The advantage on the boards sends UNLV moving on.
Winner: UNLV Runnin' Rebels
#9 Missouri vs. #8 Colorado State - The
Tigers and the
Rams. Tigers are fierce, as I've stated prior. Rams
do have some mean-looking horns but the lead Tiger,
Phil Pressey, is pretty damn good and should lead his ambush of Tigers to victory.
Winner: Missouri Tigers
#12 Akron vs. #5 VCU - Wooooo
Zips and more
Rams. Zips sometimes refers to a derogatory term used by mobsters referencing newer immigrant mafioso and these Zips are equally scary. The Rams are an experienced team used to winning. There will be no guns involved to hunt Rams in this game which is why I'm giving the edge to VCU. Besides, Zippy the kangaroo, Akron's mascot, isn't really all that intimidating.
Winner: VCU Rams
#14 Harvard vs. #3 New Mexico - The
Crimson and the
Lobos. While crimson is a shade of red, the color of blood, I don't think Harvard can match up with the Lobos on the hardwood. A lobo is a timber wolf in English and these wolves should have mo problem chopping down the Ivy Leaguers.
Winner: New Mexico Lobos
#13 Montana vs. #4 Syracuse - The
Grizzlies and the
Orange. Unless the Orange can get some points on the board, the Grizzlies will hang around with upset in mind. The bear typically eats an orange--or does it?--but
Otto is one bad-ass orange and should help the 'Cuse squeeze out a close win.
Winner: Syracuse Orange
Have a great day and let the games begin. March Madness is here, baby!
